What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 05:38
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Why do ugly men flirt with girls that are really hot?
I was 9 years of age.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Do any other guys like to eat cum of another man from their wife's pussy?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I think the readers, may guess!
What did i know ?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
This is soul school!.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
How do I become an intelligent man?
It was going to be , some day.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why are women attracted to ugly guys?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
What is your favourite true story to tell at a party?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
This couple paid $19M for 2 Jersey Shore houses. Then they demolished them. - NJ.com
She married twice! .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?
Would this be the day?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Can you tell me a depressing story?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She loved him until the end.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
All the time i was locked up.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
watchOS 26 Moves Latest Apple Watch Models to New Architecture - MacRumors
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
When she asked me how she looked .
Why is our generation so unhappy?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Ive learnt so much.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
One cannot live in the past .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My life is so biszare .
I said to her
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Comes on , in middle age.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Put me off passion for life!!
I was very sick at this time too.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As i do to all so called friends.?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was seconnd youngest,
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Im still living with it.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Was to survive, this bastard.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
We were not on the streets..
My family never makes their pension either.
But, we were locked up after school.
So whats the point in blame.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We all went to grammer schools
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She found it foreign!.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why did i forgive my father ?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And i lived it daily.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I have no regrets .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She was in good health!
So, i spoilt her more .
But ive been too sick for many years..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She wouldn,t have been !
I write beautiful poetry .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
(And it was in our own minds.)
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Who then, do I blame.?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I was scared of men, in general
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I will be 64.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But it wasn’t much.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He knew the spot.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I don,t even have a pension.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I waited trembling.
On the 31st of Jan this month .